Sometimes I know why I moved to Los Angeles, other times I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t really care about big city things. I truly like a select few movies, but I’m no theater junkie. I don’t like bars and clubs. I do like trying new restaurants, but due to internal imbalances and intolerances in my body, going out to eat is a practice in trying to not feel anxious and fear repercussions. Food intolerances make going out to eat feel like Russian roulette.
This holiday season has me thinking a lot about what motivates us and how that affects us for better or for worse.
I wanted to move her because I wanted to establish myself in a creative field and start making money as a writer. I didn’t know what that meant exactly, but I knew I could figure it out if I was in a foreign place with no distractions. I was open to the possibility that I could find some other dream job along the way, but ended up finding that, writing is really truly what I want to do. One of those “I work a lot, but I actually like it.” deals.
But it’s funny. I’m just not a big city type. I went to Vegas once. The land of entertainment. Didn’t care about it. Truthfully, I’m happiest walking in the woods, reading, having a quiet conversation with one of the few people I feel truly close to, or just taking care of my home and my body. I pretty much always was that way. But it’s become clearer as I’ve parted ways with things like alcohol and sugar. When you don’t have the numbing agent of whiskey, the chemistry (or lack thereof) between you and other people is lit up like noontime in July. But I lost my way there for a while. I was pretending and making myself sick and miserable.
Nick and I were trying to decide what to do with the long holiday weekend of Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, and I suggested either getting a cabin to hike and read, or just going down to Santa Anita on Saturday morning to watch the race horses exercise like we did last year.
“I’ll bring some leftover pumpkin pie and ginger tea for me. You can have coffee. They sell it there. We can watch the horses exercise.”
Nick said, “You know, those people are all horse owners or have a financial interest in being there. I don’t think anyone else there has the same motivations you do.”
I thought about it for a second and said, “Yeah. Well I think that’s just life in general.”
I hope you’re enjoying the holidays and taking good care of your body. It’s the best way to help your body take care of you. Remember that even your old motivations for things might not have been what was best for you, and the choices you’re making now are powerful ways to create positive change inside you, which radiates out into the rest of your world.
As the tempatations of sugary treats and alcohol start to well up around you this holiday season, if you’re dealing with imbalances too, hang in there. Remember that you really can have a nice time with family or friends while sipping on a glass of sparkling water instead of a glass of wine. Make your own favorite treats or sugar-free cookies and bring them with you so you don’t feel totally left out and deprived.
Or even if you’re not suffering from any imbalances and a cocktail or a slice of something sweet won’t knock you out, savor it! Appreciate it, but remember the real central reason you’re at that party. It’s the people you’re there to connect with. Not the hor d’oeuvres tabel.
Wherever you are, in location or on your health journey, take a minute to say thank you for this moment. Take joy in it. The present moment and recognizing life itself is a wellspring of joy. Tap into that and you’ll never go thirsty again.